Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
