i don't plan on having that self control this summer
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
