Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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