Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
