I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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