I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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