Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
