So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
My bed is full of blood and feathers
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
