real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
