You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
