some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
