your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
