He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
