Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
