if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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