Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
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