Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
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