So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
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I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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