i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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