I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
