fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
