that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
