Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
