butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
