Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
ttyl tear gas
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
