party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
third nipple confirmed
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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