You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
nutella sex= disaster
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
