i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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