you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
