hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just want to make out with him forever
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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