Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
