she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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