i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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