We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
