There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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