none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
