just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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