Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
