I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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