I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.