the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me