I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.