My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours