just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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