He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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