he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
