I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
