Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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