How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
