she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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