i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
