Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
