I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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