That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
