He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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