I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
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Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
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hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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