i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
