Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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