Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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