If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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