ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
