I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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