Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
