So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
it glows. i had to have it.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
