You're completely useless in the revolution.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
