i may or may not be watching the land before time
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
