Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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