My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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