Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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