YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
